Let us count 'joys' of hurricane season

Now that hurricane season is ramping up and we're surrounded by Ana, Bill and Claudette, folks up north are probably shaking their heads and saying. "That's why we don't live in Florida."

They don't know what they're missing.

Only a Floridian can appreciate what hurricane season means in our lives.

To wit:

• "Crackhouse Chic" is back in vogue, our homes boarded up in plywood.
  
  
• We bond with neighbors we haven’t talked to since the 2004 hurricane season.
  
  
• Being "under water" in one's homes has taken on a dual meaning.
  
  
• Those old 2-for-1 coupons might still work.
  
  
• You want bottled water? We've got bottled water.
  
  
• You've got only the only street in the neighborhood with a No Wake sign.
  
  
• The need for your dog to go out and take care of business is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm.
  
  
• AA, C and D are all the letters of the alphabet we need.
  
  
• You can eat Chinese takeout by candlelight in your underwear.
  
  
• No more visits from family members in summertime.