Top 10 list for Mother's Day

The author of "Things My Mother Taught Me" is unknown.
But here's a Top 10 list culled from the timeless piece of humor to enjoy with Mother's Day upon us this Sunday.

1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me religion.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about time travel.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me about osmosis.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

5. My mother taught me about contortionism.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

6. My mother taught me about stamina .
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

7. My mother taught me about weather.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

8. My mother taught me the circle of life.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

9. My mother taught me about receiving .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

10. My mother taught me genetics.
"You're just like your father."