Say what?
I am not making it up.
The Cintas Corp., which specializes in work uniforms, safety mats, bathroom supplies, etc., seeks nominations for its ninth annual America's Best Restroom Awards.
Ninth annual?
These folks are serious.
The ABR Award honors, "businesses that combine good hygiene with functionality and exceptional style in their public restrooms," the release said.
Good hygiene? Check.
Functionality? Guess it means the flush mechanism works.
Exceptional style? Huh?
"Winners of this contest go well beyond just being clean; they are truly memorable," the release said. "Past champions have boasted breathtaking skyline views, unique decor and sparkling fixtures."
That leaves out most of the johns I use around town. Especially the one at Council's.
Then again, when I've got to go, I'm not looking for scenery, exotic wallpaper or shiny plumbing, thank you.
But if you're interested in knowing where past ABR Award recipients are located in case you're in that neighborhood when nature calls, the previous winners were:
- The University of Notre Dame.
- The Grand Casino, Biloxi, Miss.
- The Kohler Art Center, Sheboygan, Wis.
- The Fort Smith, Ark., Airport.
- Wendell's Restaurant, Westerville, Ohio.
- Jungle Jim's International Market, Fairfield, Ohio.
- Hermitage Hotel, Nashville, Tenn.
- Shoji Tabuchi Theatre, Branson, Mo.
Haven't been any of those places, except Notre Dame for a football game many moons ago.
You've seen one college stadium men's room, you've seen them all.
And that was before Notre Dame football went down the toilet.
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Anyway, up to 10 finalists will be chosen in July and the winner will receive the "coveted" ABR plaque of recognition from Cintas in September.
Not only that, the top five vote-getters will secure a place in the ABR Hall of Fame!
What are you waiting for?
Submissions can be made at http://www.bestrestroom.com/.
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